Obsessing

I had another good dream last night.

A really good dream.

At what point does attraction become obsession? And how do I get my subconscious out of the act?

I do foredream occasionally, but for the most part, my dreams are just my subconscious firing off random neurons while my superego's out of the loop. My dreams can sometimes be interpreted, but always allegorically. For example, when I'm stressed out or in times of great change, I often dream about tornados. I very seldom dream about people/places/events that are current in my real life. Real people do show up in my dreams, but generally not until I've known them for some time. New apartments and new jobs generally don't turn up in dreams for at least six months.

And my most common dreams have little or nothing to do with reality. Spelunking on Mars. Jumping out of a tower window as the ocean boils below me. Developing symbiotes to avoid becoming lunch for man-eating plants. Pregnant by a werewolf. Being Batman. This is run of the mill for me, and I'm really quite comfortable with that.

I dreamed about him again last night. This is the third time in just a few months. I'm afraid to even put his name down here because this does go on the web, get added to search engines, and could make me look like a potential stalker.

It's never the same dream. But I always approach him, and it's like talking to someone I've known forever. And he's so damned nice it scares me. And all the things that in the waking, logical world let me go on with my life disappear, when I'm asleep. The obstacles come up, but they're overcome, with not too much difficulty. Even if it takes a couple spiral passes before we get it right.

Sometimes I don't see him. I see the blond woman from the bardo. The one I haven't met, yet. Fuck, this scares the hell out of me.

And it was such a good dream . . .